It's all in the words

This audition post just made me laugh because of how it was worded. Now, I'm sure (or at least hope) the person(s) producing this student film didn't intend to offend. I admittedly have taken this out of context 'cause it sparked something in me after being offered the "opportunity" to play multiple coloreds in one show.
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Type: Student Film

Pay: None

Seeking:

	Male, 21-25. Able to portray African American. A streetwise problem solver who is extremely loyal. Male, 25-30 Able to portray African American. A commanding, charismatic, protector. Male, 23-27, Able to portray African American. Clever and resourceful. Male, 18-20, Able to portray African American. A ladies man who acts tough but  runs in the face of a fight Male, 20-24, Able to portray African American or Middle Eastern. A self-centered  adrenaline junkie, he favors his dumbbells and guns more than other possessions. Male, 63-68, Able to portray African American or Middle Eastern.  Brick's loving, spirited grandfather. Female, 58-63, Able to portray African American or Middle Eastern.  Brick's loving, spirited grandmother. 22-27, Able to portray African American or Hispanic. A seductive, flirtatious woman.

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WHAT THE HELL does "able to portray" mean? Does it mean any actor that comes in "able to portray" African American or Middle Eastern or 'Hispanic' in the eyes of the director is eligible? I have no issues with color blind casting, as long as race not is essential to the plot or is not mentioned within the context of said film/play.

That said, as coloreds we are not all one collective group that can swap from Asian to Indian to Negro to Hispanic; we all have a distinct history and story, that may intertwine, but is not all the same.

And in case we've forgotten our history (ah hell...and present) allowing whites to portray coloreds is well, offensive. In case a reminder is needed:

As a kid I really though Cleopatra was white....
and even if "studies prove" she wasn't black, she sure as hell was Elizabeth Taylor white.

Two white dudes...

Dude on right...he white.

"Asian dude"....white.

 

Ah...a feather, now I can play an Injun properly now! He white.

And lest we forget, coloreds portraying stereotypes of coloreds is also offensive...

-Cactor

Watch out Jersey Shore! Pocahontas runs this shit!

Sassy Native American not to be confused with Sassy Black

I wish I had a hip and cool intro to this hip and cool audition "opportunity" I found 'specially for the Natives, but I can't make up anything to match the amazing-ness of what you will read below. This shit is real. Please note the horrible grammar in the posting.

-Cactor

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Type: TV Title: HIP, YOUNG, FUN NATIVE AMERICANS Location: Nationwide & Canada Pay: $500

Character: Young Hip Native Americans Description: PRODUCTION COMPANY  IS SEEKING YOUNG, HIP, AND FUN NATIVE  AMERICANS. ONE LUCKY NATIVE AMERICAN WILL HAVE A SHOW CENTERED ON THEIR LIFE. MUST COME FROM A LARGE FAMILY WITH CONNECTION OR TIE TO YOUR TRIBE. WOULD LOVE TO TELL YOU FAMILY'S JOURNEY AS THEY ACQUIRED WEALTH & SUCCESS. IF YOU ARE NATIVE AMERICAN AND WANT TO SUBMIT YOUR FAMILY FOR THIS SHOW  PLEASE LEAVE A NOTE. THANK YOU! ___________________________________________________________________ Cha-Ching bitches!!! Welcome to my journey of "success and wealth."

Flavorful Sass

Sass: To talk disrespectfully, especially to someone older or in authority. (http://wordsmith.org/words/sass.html)

I have seen lately a reemergence in the "biz" of the "sassy, hey girlfriend, edamame/ edama-who?, neck roll, lip smacking, oh no she didn't" black chick. 


Today I was cast as "sassy black girl"....again. 

A "sassy" black girl. This is not me by the way, but I hope she at least got paid well. 

The writer of the commercial  asked if I could "roll my eyes". It took every thought about my negative bank account to not put the curse of impotence upon his ignorance. 
So I did take the job and am grateful for the opportunity to pay a bill, but after looking up the etymology and definition (see above) of the word sass I'm even more disgusted. 


As a Latina actor friend pointed out, if you're colored you can't just "be". Latina women have "flava", Black women "sass" and Asian women "mystery". Damn! What if your ass is tri-racial??? A mysterious sassy woman with flavor? Anyways, read this shit below; it ain't got nothin to do with sass.


Best audition find of the week...thus far:
*Please note that there is no-pay for the gig
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Type: Short Film
Character Name: The Devil
Pay: None
Description: Male, Able to play 45 or above. African-American. An expert negotiator, blind, with a penchant for soul-collecting."
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So you need an old, blind, soul-stealin negro aptly named "The Devil"?  I'm on it..........will he do? Old blind negro...he can steal souls if needed. -Cactor. ...

What is a cactor?

I'm an actor.
I'm colored.
Therefore I am a colored actor....a cactor.

A non-actor friend a while back asked me about the most RIDICULOUS audition I've seen posted/ been to; and once I started to spew my experiences she was shocked and wanted to know more... hence the birth of ze blog.

In this "post-racial" (ha) America I am still defined by my colored-ness within my chosen profession. As an actor I am inherently self absorbed so will not recognize that race effects other coloreds in other nondescript boring professions such as banking, teaching, presidency, etc.

These posts will mainly be used to share the RIDICULOUS audition "opportunities" presented to cactors. These are roles that I have either been called in for, have seen posted or have been sent by other actors. I'm not doing this because I'm bitter but simply because this shit is funny and inspires me to do better.

And I won't forget the whites. The whites also are faced with the most degrading, unrealistic, RIDICULOUS "opportunities"...it's just that the whites also have a pretty equal mix of opportunities that are not degrading, unrealistic and RIDICULOUS.  I will post the "Winning work for whites" audition of the day, hopefully on Wednesday's to keep in line with my "w" alliteration thingy I got going on. I named it in honor of Charlie Sheen who has managed to not only fuck himself over by being a "winner" but also hundreds of others wactors (white actors) that were employed by that white show. If I were on that show I'd be one pissed off wactor.

I know, I know...if I don't like the status quo then I should change it! I should do my part and write roles for cactors that show us in a beautiful, diverse, non stereotypical light. I should start producing. I should start directing! Shut up. I am. It takes time fools.

Enjoy...and send me your thoughts and audition stories. I won't share names/city or source....cause I understand and know, we still gotta work.

Happy auditioning,

-Cactor